Re-parenting Myself with Love
What it means to give the little girl inside me the safety she always needed.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the little girl I used to be. The one who was told to stay quiet. The one who learned early on to keep the peace, to be good, not to take up too much space.
She’s still here, inside me. And sometimes, when life feels heavy, I hear her voice, small, unsure, longing for love she didn’t know how to ask for.
For years, I ignored her. I pushed her aside, thinking adulthood meant leaving her behind. But midlife has taught me something different: healing isn’t about forgetting her, it’s about finding her again. Holding her hand. Letting her know she was never too much, never not enough.
This, I realise now, is inner child healing.
It’s not about rewriting the past, but about re-parenting myself in the present. It’s choosing to give myself what I needed back then: gentleness instead of judgement, patience instead of pressure, love without conditions.
Some days, that looks like making her a warm cup of tea and letting myself rest without guilt.
Other days, it’s laughter, dancing in the kitchen, singing badly to music I loved as a teenager, allowing play back into a life that once felt too serious.
And sometimes, it’s simply whispering to myself: “I’ve got you now. You are safe.”
Here’s what I’m learning: every time I nurture her, I nurture me.
Every time I give her permission to feel, I give myself permission to feel. Every time I remind her she doesn’t have to earn love, I remind myself that my worth is not tied to proving, pushing, or pleasing.
So how do we heal her?
By listening when she speaks, noticing the old wounds that resurface and holding them with compassion.
By creating rituals of safety, soft blankets, warm baths, and a quiet walk, moments that soothe her nervous system.
By speaking to her kindly, choosing words that uplift instead of criticising.
By letting her play, colouring, journaling, singing, and moving the body, not for results but for joy.
And most of all, by promising never to abandon her again.
Because she doesn’t need me to fix the past. She just needs me to love her now.
And maybe that’s the real work of this season of life: not becoming someone new, but remembering who I was before the world told me who to be. And finally, letting her feel free.
A reflection for you, Love:
If you could sit beside the little girl you used to be, what would you want her to hear from you today?
A tiny ritual to try:
Find a childhood photo of yourself. Place it somewhere visible. Each time you pass, pause for a moment. Smile at her. Whisper: “You are safe with me now.”
Kiran x
Kiransinghuk.com | Tha Sattva Collective
